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Wednesday, November 10, 2004

 
8:41 PM: on being careful what one wishes for [#] [0]

so i definitely have work through psu for a few months (through february at least), and i'm surprisingly less enthusiastic about it than i think i ought to be. almost depressed, in fact. i can totally use the money, and i'm glad i've done a good enough job for them in the past that they want to hire me in a more consistent manner, but i'm in a position i wasn't sure i wanted to get into again, and i'm worried about disappointing everyone.

i'll be doing part-time online course development and faculty webct support, as well as using the process i developed to get their learning objects into hive. but i am doubting my skills. maggie reeeaaaalllly prefers developers with master's degrees (and even better if they have phds), and i worry that it will be almost immediately apparent i can't play with the big kids. i liked the special projects division better, when there were no expectations and discrete beginnings & endings. also, i haven't had to work with people or in a cubicle for a year and half, and i worry i've lost whatever skills i had to work with colleagues and *shudder* faculty.

and the timing makes me sad, as it will clash with artist's way, and we thought it would be a good time to give youthlib.com another go. and i already feel like i don't have time to breathe; how will i add more?

the good news (as if "paying job" wasn't enough): i have to go into campus for an undetermined amount of hours each week, but i can set my own schedule and ratio of home/work hours. and there's a teeeeeeesy chance i could get benefits with this position.

anyway, i'll start monday. then i'll go to colorado. then psu has finals week. then the coast at new year's. and the very next day, the winter term begins. no breathing room at all. into the fire with me.