gl. |
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Tuesday, June 12, 2007
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Wow, gl. That was an interesting 500+ comments to skim, and it reminded me that I hate Internet discussions about parenting/children. People are bad enough on the topic in person. I'll never forget the service-station-attendant-jacket-wearing nose-ring who passed Ben and I on the sidewalk and said to her friend "This neighborhood sucks now ... it needs to get rid of all the kids."
Re: restaurants, since that came up a lot in one thread, and since it's where there's most likely going to be trouble: My rule of thumb revolves around the presence of high chairs and booster seats. If the place has them, kids are expected and welcome. If it doesn't, probably not. That rule of thumb is the foundation of the elevator speech I have prepared for anyone who ever comments about Ben's behavior anywhere we take him that has those amenities: Walking into a restaurant with high chairs and complaining about kid noise is dumb on the level of walking into a strip club and complaining about all the tits. Sorry for dumping here. I don't know any of those people on the linked pages, but damn some of them were irritating.
now the comments are over 600, and i've actually read them all. the internet is really what made me aware of this huge anti-child/mommy war issue, and my first instinct is to duck & hide because it's very much a "damned if you do/damned if you don't" situation.
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on a fairly high-profile feminist blog i expected more tolerance & compassion, but i'm surprised at the rush to defend "i hate children." even if you don't really mean it, even if you think they can't be oppressed, even if you're never going to have them, by saying you hate them you make it more acceptable for the people who really do dehumanize children and damage them in horrible ways. and i don't understand why people think that the adults these children will become will be better off for having grown up in an environment where people think it's okay to say they hate you. that's a terrible story about ben. i wonder if young people under 30, especially, feel so virulently against children because they're trying to disassociate from a lifetime of childhood stigma. |